Personality Month: Yours, Not Theirs...

What about my personality? I am confident that you know more about narcissism than you know about your personality – and we all have one. Frankly, we may not even like everything about our personalities – but they matter. Our personalities may relate to why we got stuck in narcissistic relationships, our personalities were shaped by our early environment, so if you had a narcissistic parent, then it was in part shaped by the narcissistic parent, and our personalities also have a role in how we heal. But for so long, many people in narcissistic relationships put all of themselves into being what the narcissistic person wanted them to be so they could remain attached and connected and safe, and what got lost is who you really are.  And that is often captured in your personality.

Most people don’t ever complete formal personality assessment. Some work suggests that the sort of “survivor profile” is agreeableness and probably a little conscientious. But it’s not that simple – and personally, I also believe it is risky to look at survivors through a one-personality-fits-all lens.   This month – we are going to take on personality (it will be hard, but I promise to not be too teach-y) – what it is, and why it matters in terms of understanding narcissistic relationships but also to understand your process of healing.