What Made Me A Good Target for the Narcissistic Person? (Punchline: All of us Are)

Once upon a time I delivered a lecture to a group of survivors and therapists, and after I went through a long list of attributes that could make a person vulnerable to a narcissistic relationship, as well as to get stuck in toxic cycles and perhaps even face difficulties with healing – a few people in the audience asked – is there anyone who is NOT vulnerable.

It was one of those “joke” comments that had enough truth to be uncomfortable – are we all vulnerable? And if we are all vulnerable – then it becomes more important to not make this about a weakness or quirk in us that “attracted” a narcissist to us, but rather, that to recognize that we all have histories and to understand how our back stories can block us from seeing some of the narcissistic dynamics or get us stuck. Knowledge is power when it comes to avoiding, navigating and healing from narcissistic relationships, and this month is about self-knowledge, which may be even more powerful than understanding narcissism! If you can understand you AND understand narcissism, these are essential tools of protection, and self-preservation.