Quieting those negating voices through self-compassion:
We are our worst critics, judging ourselves harshly at every turn, for even the smallest mistake. However, for folks experiencing narcissistic abuse, it’s a bit of a stiff competition for whose voices are more toxic – ours or theirs. Self-compassion is a model that was developed by Dr. Kristen Neff, and moves beyond the two-dimensional idea of self-love, and instead focuses on the deeper and more intentional idea of being less self-judgmental and being kinder to ourselves, and recognizing that we are all going through something.
As you can imagine, self-compassion is no small task for survivors of narcissistic abuse. It can be difficult for many people, but when you add in a lifetime of actual negating voices and experiences, the voices and self-judgments that get internalized can be harsh and persistent. It takes survivors a minute to begin to implement the principles of self-compassion. This month takes on the importance of self-compassion and the challenges that survivors experience in practicing the principles of this important but powerful model. This month is a bit of a reprieve from some heavy recent months on injustice and forgiveness, and gives us a moment, to be a little kinder to ourselves.